*tries to talk*
“you should talk more!”
i am the human version of the first piece of bread
when i saw this early i just thought that this meant the first piece of bread ever created. the very first bread in all of time.
why do all celebrities have to be good roll models they didnt sign up to babysit your kid
some people just normally look like they havent slept in weeks. i am one of those people
I was looking for an angel to chase the devil at night (x)
And then that filthy bastard, Snape went whoring around with the office skank and left Trelawney all heart broken and shit. Listening to Joni Mitchell while that other slut hoe was parading around with her new necklace that Mr. Bean wanted to gift wrap oh so extravagantly with sprigs of rosemary and shit.
SO MANY GOOD SHOWS HAVE TURNED TO SHIT AND EVERYONE JUST STOOD BY AND LET IT HAPPEN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST CANCEL THE SHOW AND HOPE IT CAN AT LEAST END WITH SOME DIGNITY.
yeah i can be a heartless mean asshole but I can also cry like a 3 year old while watching the biggest loser.
Types of people who romanticize small town life:
- People who didn’t grow up in small towns
#THE LOCALS AREN’T QUIRKY#THEY’RE RACIST
#THERE’S NOTHING TO DO
#EVERYONE’S ON DRUGS
when people unfollow you and you’re left wondering which post was the final straw
There are some shows you watch and even after 20 episodes, you can’t decide who’s your favorite character.
Then there are some shows that, within five minutes, you’re like “it’s them, they’re my bby, I will defend their actions until my last breath, they are perfection.”
and then they die
and sometimes you spend 4 seasons thinking you have a favorite character and then this fucker waltzes in and turns your whole fucking life around
I want a movie about a guy who runs for president and wins but then suddenly realizes that he doesn’t want to be president, so he just starts doing ridiculous things all the time trying to get impeached, but it NEVER WORKS because they always miraculously end up being the right thing to do. Like, he declares war on Canada? Next day it turns out that Canada had secret plans to nuke Washington. he bans Doritos? Turns out theyr’e the number one cause of cancer and natural disasters. He sends his vice president to jail? Turns out the VP was a terrorist in disguise. He has 100% approval rating, most popular president ever.